Withdrawals and Socializing

So I deactivated my Facebook account yesterday. It was a big decision for me. I've known for a long time that I was addicted to it and that I spent waaaaay too much time being totally unproductive on it. Every time the topic of idolatry came up in church or wherever, I could instantly point to at least one idol in my life: Facebook. Oddly, this never really bothered me. Probably because my biggest idol is still myself, and if I want to keep something, then obviously I should be the decider on that. (Not so, but that's the mindset.) But now, I see Facebook for part of what it is to me: an obstacle to growing closer to God. And I desperately want to draw closer to Him - I want Him to change my heart so that it beats only for Him. Part of pursuing that goal is to remove idols in my life. I can't remove myself (yet), but Facebook is something I can do something about.

And I miss it so much. :( I keep looking for the pinned tab with the Facebook logo, keep looking for any access to my friends there, the events I've registered for, the photos I've uploaded, that new timeline feature, and, of course, my app games. Never played Farmville, but I'm just as addicted to a couple other games as people were to that. (Thank goodness the fad seems to have passed.) It's not that I don't have things I can be doing with my time. I most definitely do! Some of them I should probably be working on more vigilantly than I am (like making an awesome resume and applying to summer internships/jobs). I just miss that massive time dump. Apparently I find it therapeutic to do absolutely nothing! I mean literally nothing. Not sitting by a pool or even watching grass grow. Just clicking. And clicking. And scrolling. And clicking. :/

I do miss chatting with a couple people, though. All Bujinkan people, actually, if I'm not mistaken. I mean, sometimes I see school friends online and I'll chat with them, but I'm on Skype with most of them, so I'm not really missing them. But my good buyu (budo friends) pretty much exclusively use Facebook. Or at least that's the only social media site they frequent; some of them also have a G+ page and just never (ever) visit it.

I miss my peeps! I know I hardly ever talked to them directly, but even my poke wars were meaningful! But I made the alternative means of contacting me pretty clear and gave 24 hours notice. For everyone I know that I might actually communicate with, that's plenty of notice. *sigh* It's not like I've completely lost touch with them. I just have to get a little bit more creative.

--------------------

This post title has "socializing" in it, too. That's because I'm finally trying to get involved in my church here in Huntsville! I've been a member for I think 2 years and people still ask me if I'm new when they see me while I'm home for a break or vacation. Haha. It's kind of sad, actually... But I'm hoping to fix that! I'll be graduating in May, and it's entirely possible that I will stay in Huntsville for a while as I work on finding a job and raising money to eventually get my own place. God knows how long that will take, but I definitely don't! So I will be investing in my church for as long as I am there. :)

We have these things called Journey Groups - there's a big emphasis at my church on journeying together in growing closer to God and serving Him, hence the name. They're basically Bible study groups, and they're led by different people all across the city. I picked up the flyer that lists all of them and who to contact for information and all that jazz, so I'll be visiting those this month before I go back for my final semester. Hopefully I'll have one chosen by the time I come back for the summer (just in time for them to go on break for the summer months, lol; ironic, I know). Journey groups are kind of the lifeblood of the church; without them, none of us are really connected. So getting plugged into one of those should help me finally get integrated in the church. They also do community activities sometimes, so that'll be a great way to get involved, too.

I'm also trying to get over my aversion (it's not really a fear) of talking to strangers. They're my church family, and if I can't communicate with them, then there are going to be issues and I'm going to continue feeling isolated. Moreover, how am I going to shine brightly with the light of my King if I won't talk to anyone?


So yeah. Feeling the withdrawals from Facebook and missing a couple people I like talking to. And also trying to get plugged into the real world (anyone else get a Matrix vibe from that statement?). Those are the semi-major things going on right now. Oh, and happy 2012. If you make it to the end of the year without catastrophe striking, you get a cookie. (Seriously. You can log that away and show it to me at the end of this year. I will give you a cookie.)

Go in peace.
Kaitlin