My previous post talked about defending yourself and others in a public, work, or home environment. I concluded with thoughts on coordinating with the people around you so that there's a plan of action in the event that there is a gunman, fire, tornado, or some other emergency. In the process of thinking about communicating with my coworkers and family about plans of action, I came across a little conundrum.
As a young woman who has a basic knowledge of how to defend herself, what is my responsibility to others?
Men are supposed to be the protectors, and they all seem to have that instinct (with the exception of sociopaths). Do I stand aside and allow them to handle the situation, even if I have more theoretical practice with it? (By theoretical practice, I mean practice in a controlled setting versus experience in real life.) Similar situation with my mom. It's just me and her living at home - plus my sister, when she's home from college - but who takes charge when there's an emergency? I have training, but she's the parent.
The first example is primarily subject to gender roles and trust. It's easier to feel where I'm supposed to be when the guys I'm with are ones I train with and trust, the ones I know can effectively protect the ones behind them. With those men, I feel perfectly comfortable letting them take the lead in protection. However, the line is more blurred with guy friends I don't know as well. I don't know what they're capable of or what they'll do under that kind of pressure. With them, my instinct is to either stand alongside them or even in front of them. Should I stand back anyway and take care of anyone behind us? Or take charge and tell them to tend to any others?
The situation with my mom is particularly tricky. She's a very strong woman when she needs to be, and I'm sure she'd want to address a threat to us and keep me out of the way. But whereas she has the maternal protection instincts, I have training. Do I let the mother protect the grown child or do what I can to keep us both safe?
This is confusing for me, so if you have any thoughts on this, I'd appreciate the feedback. Thank you.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Behind the Curtain: The Other Story
My previous post was an exercise in acknowledging all of the space I'm in. The fact that I have some consistent themes to my internal (a...
-
My previous post was an exercise in acknowledging all of the space I'm in. The fact that I have some consistent themes to my internal (a...
-
Something I noticed over the past couple months is that my Facebook comments, Messenger replies, and text threads were increasingly turning ...
-
So, I've been trying to resume this blog for years, clearly to no avail. I wanted to have something worth saying to make writing a post ...
My opinion: I don't think you should limit yourself based upon your company. You could be in the company of a 15th dan who just doesn't have the ability (proper positioning, angle, mindset, whatever the limitations could be) to take the action needed to protect you and others, or perhaps you're in the presence of somebody who's never had training, but has the will to act at the proper time and they eliminate a threat because it's opportune for them. So in such an event, I don't know that I would focus so much on what gender or level of training your company is or has, and focus more on what you can or can't do to protect yourself and others. What's your position in the situation? Do you have an opening? Etc. I know it's all VERY situational, and can vary greatly depending upon so many factors, but my opinion is that you should be ready to do what is necessary at any point in time, no matter who you're with. If you emasculate somebody or make a parent feel like they didn't "protect their baby", it's better than you and the other party being dead.
ReplyDeleteWe can 'what if' this to death but there is no reason to. I agree with Josh on this. You have the responsibility to yourself FIRST AND FOREMOST, so treat every situation as such. Partitioning every situation via gender/parental roles will only confuse potential situations even more. If you are the type to stand back, then do so and find your escape. If you are the type to stand up and fight, then by all means, do - regardless of your company.
ReplyDeleteRead this: http://www.personaldefensenetwork.com/articles/tactics-defensive-issues/protecting-your-family/?utm_source=cc&utm_medium=email&utm_term=clk2cont&utm_content=prot-yr-fam-art&utm_campaign=homdef090612
ReplyDeleteMay help you figure it out.