Mad World

The business of defending yourself is a necessity in today's world. But that doesn't mean I like the idea.

I'm a martial artist, training in an art that is designed to significantly improve your chance of survival in a real-world conflict. I'm also a peaceful Christian. I like to horse around with my friends, but I don't want to hurt people. It is never my intention to harm.

So I find myself in an uncomfortable position when faced with a self-defense or defense of others scenario. As soon as I put myself in that situation mentally, even though it's just a training exercise, I always feel the aggression kick in. That "you shall not pass" feeling permeates my body, fills my mind, and galvanizes me. It's not usually fueled by anger or pride - though I can't rule those factors out for future scenarios - yet I find myself wondering in the aftermath, "Why?"

Why does it have to be this way? Why would someone come up to me and try to rob me or rape me? Why do I take every chance I get to tell my girl friends to at least take a self-defense class?

The answer is simple, and it breaks my heart: This world is broken.

I firmly believe that it was never supposed to be this way. Crime and violence are not hardwired into us. No, instead we all have some barrier that has to be crossed or simply removed. It's called a conscience. No one becomes a criminal overnight - they have to gradually desensitize themselves to the idea of using violence just to get what they want. That tells me that there is something to desensitize. This gives me hope, but it also makes me grieve for the thousands of criminals who've buried their conscience, some of them so well that they may never get it back.

What would possibly possess a human to go through this desensitization, anyway? Selfishness. There are several factors that could be listed, but I'm willing to bet money (poor college student money) that they all boil down to being solely concerned with oneself. Everyone else is just someone to exploit to get what you want. (Remember, I'm thinking of hardened, career criminals and anyone committing armed crimes. I do think there are people who commit crimes because it seems to be the only way to accomplish a good thing, but they are not the subjects at hand.)

I believe that this ability to think of ourselves is a side effect of having free will ("What do I want? What do I feel?"). And when we become the lord of our own lives, centering everything around our wants and desires, we lose something. But when we freely choose to order our lives in service to others, something is gained. What is it?

Love.

"Love your neighbor as you love yourself."
"No greater love has man than this, that he would lay down his life for his friends."
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength."

Saint Augustine describes the Trinity in terms of love. The Father is the lover, the Son is the beloved, and the Spirit is the power of love. The important thing about this illustration is the dimensions it highlights. Two people loving each other will be in a world of their own. We've all seen this with new couples, I'm sure; they seem to suddenly forget there's a world around them. The third person of the Trinity directs this love outward, so that it both pours out onto others and draws others into it. "Love" is not complete until there is an outward motion.

It's possible that even criminals try, in their own warped way, to show concern and love for those who are close to them. This just further goes to show that they aren't animals; they're humans who've missed the mark on what it means to truly love.

Yet all of us miss that mark. It's easy to love ourselves, but it becomes more difficult to extend that same love to others. We try, but it's awkward and ungainly most of the time. The end result is functional, obviously, but incomplete. Only God can teach us what it means to truly love.

What's my point in all this? I went off on a few tangents, and if you're still with me, I applaud and thank you. My point is that this world is broken. There are people who desensitize themselves to their nature of love for the sake of satiating their selfish desires. It breaks my heart to think about it, but I have hope that some of them may be shown the light and love of Christ, and that they would follow him instead of themselves.

And so what does that mean for me as a Christian and as any other human? As a Christian, it means I am driven to pray for these men (and women) who think life is only about themselves and that it can't be anything more than what they've always seen. It also means that I need to be constantly checking myself and keeping myself in check, so that I'm exercising the love of Christ and others, and not just the love of myself. And as a human, a polite passerby on the street? Well, it means that I need to be able to protect myself efficiently and effectively with only the amount of force necessary for the situation. It means that I need to keep training so that I can learn to control my power and use it to inflict the least amount of harm necessary. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I accept that I may have to in this broken world.

Come, Lord Jesus.

Doowahdiddy

Turns out having a modicum of regular activity in my life makes me less inclined to blog. Whereas a LOT of regular activity makes me want to escape, so I blog more! (If that doesn't tell you what fuels this blog - boredom - nothing else will. Unless, of course, I simply told you what said fuel is.)

So here's what's new with me.

• I'm going to see Step Sing tonight, and I'm SUPER PUMPED about this year's show!! :D
• I'm learning to play "Inside Out" by Hillsong on my ukulele. It's one of my favorite worship songs ever, and it pleases me greatly that I can play it with a modicum of skill. Here's their version.
• We get to finally go in the darkroom on Monday for my photography class!! Which means I'll have to actually finish my roll of film and get it developed so I'll have something to make prints with. :/ But, that also means I have a legitimate reason to walk around with my camera and take LOTS OF PICTURES. XD
• I'm on a movie-watching spree. Since Netflix split their streaming and DVD services, so that combining them is more expensive than before, I got a free trial from Blockbuster. I'm trying to watch as many DVDs on my list as possible before it expires.
• I'm slowly making my way through Lord of Chaos by Robert Jordan. It's book 6 in the Wheel of Time series. Kind of wish I had an e-reader for it; the entire series consists of massive books. :P
• I'm hanging out with one of my best friends today. We don't see much of each other, even though we live in the same building. (It's my fault; I generally associate with those I see, and not so much the ones I don't. I'm working on it.) Hopefully we'll go get sushi tonight before the Step Sing show! :D
• My Photoshop trial is about to expire. I don't really have anything else to do with it, though, so it'll likely just sit there until it goes away. And then, when I need another photo editing program, I'll go download GIMP! The free imitation of Photoshop. :)

That's about it. Riveting, I know.

There is one more thing, that I'd like for all who read this to pray about. I'm thinking about going on a mission trip this summer. Would you please pray that I will be able to hear God tell me a) whether I should go on a mission trip, b) whether it should be through Samford, and c) which one it should be. I need to make a decision in the next couple weeks, because the form has to be in by March 1 or something. Your prayers are much appreciated, and I thank you.

Peace.

Attitude of Gratitude

As I was praying over my food the other day, I started to wonder, "What does it mean to be thankful?" We say 'thank you' so much and for so many things, that it tends to lose its meaning.

So what does it mean to be thankful?

I think it starts with recognizing that you weren't necessarily going to get whatever is in front of you now. That plate of food, the random gift, the friendly advice - none of those were a given. The first step is not taking them for granted.

So, now that you realize you could've just as easily wound up with no food in front of you, what do you do? You say 'thank you' to whoever gave it to you. When you think about it, that's a very large 'thank you.' It wasn't just the chef or the server responsible for your food. Oh no. Next time you sit down to a meal, look at everything on your plate. A farmer somewhere grew that food and raised the livestock for your meat. Somewhere, those foods were processed and made ready for sale. A driver spent hours on the road bringing that food to your local supermarket. The stocker spent his night helping to unload everything and put it out for you, the consumer. And that's just the food! There's still the plate, the cup, the pots and pans used to cook it, the skills someone had to learn to prepare the food just right.

Realizing that so many hands and hours have gone into providing food (and that's just the example I'm using now), what do we do? Say 'thank you,' yes, but is that all? Not if we're truly thankful. If you're thankful - if you're grateful - that you've received something, then you show it. That food is a gift, and you are responsible for using the energy it gives you wisely. The food could've gone to someone else, but it didn't. It came to you.

This carries over into every facet of our existence. Nothing had to come to you. Be thankful it did!

What blessings in your life do you often overlook? How can you show your gratitude for those things? Think about it.

Schmickle

Couple things going on right now. It's the end of my last first week of spring semester, for one. And I'm going to a training seminar this weekend that should be amazing (I'm sure I'll have something to post about that later). And I'm thinking of going on a mission trip overseas this summer.

1) First Week
     The first week of class is always kind of crazy; you're getting your syllabi, you go through the introduction phase ad nauseum for each class, homework kind of kicks in but not really and what they actually give you feels ridiculous, and you're still getting yourself settled. It usually feels like a pretty long week.
     Luckily, I had two classes cancelled! Both twice-a-week classes, though, which kind of sucks because now we'll have to catch up. Oh well. My other twice-a-week class is a PE class and we didn't have to dress out or do anything both times we met; just went over ground rules and semester objectives. Oh, and I dropped one of my classes, so now I don't have anything at all on Fridays. Woo!! So, really, the second week is going to be my first "normal" week, because my schedule will actually kick in.

2) 2012 Asuncion seminar
     More information on this can be found here.

3) Mission Trip?

     I learned this past Tuesday at a campus worship service that University Ministries is organizing 3 trips overseas this summer. One to South Africa, one to Bangalore, India, and one to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. There are informational meetings for each this week; I'm going to 2 out of 3, and I spoke with someone personally about the third already. Hopefully God will speak to my heart for one in particular; I'd really like to go on another mission trip, and I know that doesn't come from myself (because I don't usually care, to be honest). So, updates on that to come, I'm sure.

Alright! Well, I'm off to my Photography class. Peace out!