Who's in Charge Here?

My previous post talked about defending yourself and others in a public, work, or home environment. I concluded with thoughts on coordinating with the people around you so that there's a plan of action in the event that there is a gunman, fire, tornado, or some other emergency. In the process of thinking about communicating with my coworkers and family about plans of action, I came across a little conundrum.

As a young woman who has a basic knowledge of how to defend herself, what is my responsibility to others?

Men are supposed to be the protectors, and they all seem to have that instinct (with the exception of sociopaths). Do I stand aside and allow them to handle the situation, even if I have more theoretical practice with it? (By theoretical practice, I mean practice in a controlled setting versus experience in real life.) Similar situation with my mom. It's just me and her living at home - plus my sister, when she's home from college - but who takes charge when there's an emergency? I have training, but she's the parent.

The first example is primarily subject to gender roles and trust. It's easier to feel where I'm supposed to be when the guys I'm with are ones I train with and trust, the ones I know can effectively protect the ones behind them. With those men, I feel perfectly comfortable letting them take the lead in protection. However, the line is more blurred with guy friends I don't know as well. I don't know what they're capable of or what they'll do under that kind of pressure. With them, my instinct is to either stand alongside them or even in front of them. Should I stand back anyway and take care of anyone behind us? Or take charge and tell them to tend to any others?

The situation with my mom is particularly tricky. She's a very strong woman when she needs to be, and I'm sure she'd want to address a threat to us and keep me out of the way. But whereas she has the maternal protection instincts, I have training. Do I let the mother protect the grown child or do what I can to keep us both safe?

This is confusing for me, so if you have any thoughts on this, I'd appreciate the feedback. Thank you.

Self-Defense and Defense of Others

This past weekend I attended a self-defense seminar. It was an awesome time, and we all learned some very useful principles of self-defense. It got me thinking about some things I can do to improve my own chances out there in the world - mostly just a more tactical mindset for clothing and ideas for good weapons to carry. I still refuse to carry a gun on principle, but I might add an asp (collapsible baton) to my pocket knife for regular carry, if I can pull it off.

One of the things emphasized during the seminar was the issue of legality. You get used to hearing "break the elbow," "kick the head," "clap the ears," and other similar things during normal martial arts training. But laws usually don't look to kindly on that kind of thing, unless you really had no other choice. We were encouraged to check the rules and laws for where it's okay to carry what kind of weapons, too. I'm wearing my pocket knife more regularly when I go out, now, so I decided to check the Zoes employee handbook to see if I could carry it there, too. Turns out I can't. No surprise there, though. I don't think I'd want employees carrying personal weapons, either.

What I did not see were any rules or company policies for if someone comes in to rob the store or just shoot the place up. Common sense is sufficient for the former - just give them the money. Lives are more important than money. But I wanted to know if there was some rule against engaging a gunman, because of the news stories I've heard of employees neutralizing a threat and then getting fired. (Thinking about it now, I don't think I'd care if I got fired in that situation.) When I asked, my manager said there's no rule saying you'll be penalized for engaging an attacker. He also gave me a very strange look for asking a question like that, lol.

I don't know how other companies handle that kind of thing, but it seems to me there ought to at least be some clear guidelines in the handbook in the event that a gunman comes in. Shouldn't that have been covered in some kind of safety training course? And why wouldn't they have a course like that when training new employees? I don't even know what the protocol is for a fire or tornado! I've got a good idea of what I should do for myself, and what could be done to protect the customers, but there's been no employee training on the matter.

Same thing in my own home. I know the drill for tornadoes - you get used to it after a few years - but what about a robber? Or a fire?

It's not difficult to plot out a course of action for yourself in various scenarios, but you still have to practice it. Communicating with your family, friends, and coworkers about what to do in different situations is harder, because you have to coordinate. It's possible that they'll think you're "that guy" who's a little paranoid, but would you rather they not know what to do when something comes up? I'll probably be talking to my manager more about a safety course for employees, for everyone's sake. What will you do?

Just some food for thought.

Fun and Games

I had a lot of fun playing games by myself and with my sister as a kid. It was so much fun just going out in the front yard and playing Indians. (We never bothered with cowboys; we both wanted to be Indians/Native Americans, anyway.) All you needed to entertain yourself was your surroundings and your imagination.

I could go on a tangent about how kids these days don't play outside enough, and how we're slowly becoming zombie slaves to electronic entertainment, but that's not the point of this post. As tempting as that tangent is.

What I'd actually like to talk about is one of the games I used to play when I was sitting by myself anywhere. Looking around me, I would try to come up with analogies to connect what I saw with some aspect of God or our interaction with God. For example, a pillow; we find our rest and comfort in God. Hardwood floor; Christ is the solid foundation we can build our lives on. If I couldn't come up with anything, I could always just say, "God created it."

Somewhere along the way, I stopped playing that game, and it's one I wish I'd kept up with. I still know in my head that everything connects back to God in some way or another, but there's something about actually making those connections for fun that helps it sink in better. When you constantly see things reflecting God, it's easy to stay in constant worship and it's hard to focus inward on yourself.

Formal education seems to be the typical scapegoat for loss of creativity, imagination, and pure thought. I'm very grateful for my education, but it's true that being bogged down with schoolwork is not the best thing for cultivating a fluid, individual worldview. My mind grew at a decent pace, but the spirit I had as a child? Its growth slowed.

The Apostle Paul wrote this to the church in Corinth: "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways." In my mind, this connects to something Ludwig Wittgenstein wrote in his first philosophical work: "My propositions are elucidatory in this way: he who understands me finally recognizes them as senseless, when he has climbed out through them, on them, over them. (He must so to speak throw away the ladder, after he has climbed up on it.)"

We all have to climb ladders to reach the next level of maturity in understanding. But the thing about throwing away that ladder once you've reached the destination is to not forget the climb. If you forget what you learned, you're back where you started. I forgot how to see the world like a child who thinks God is awesome and everywhere, and now I'm trying to play catch up. And, God willing, I will catch up.

We grow out of the games we play as children, but the games have meaning. If we forget those, did we really grow up?

Journeys

Yeah, I'm being a total slack-off with these blog posts. But, I have a good excuse for this week! I was gone literally all weekend, then worked a double shift on Monday, and then Tuesday worked another shift, then went to training only a little more than an hour later. Now, though, I've got some time off, and it's time to bring y'all up to speed.

Ready for this?

Nothing interesting happened in the past week.

Except, of course, for the seminar in Indiana. That was friggin' awesome. Only had to take the bus part of the way, and had a fun time riding with a friend the rest of the way. We even made a stop at the Jim Beam Stillhouse on the way up. Pretty cool, actually. We got free samples, too: Basil Hayden and ...Red Stag, I think. Former was 80 proof, latter was 120. I preferred the former.

The weather was phenomenal when we got there. It was, like, 70 degrees!! It felt so amazing after all the summer heat down here in Alabama. The hotel the seminar was hosted in (and where we were all staying) was fantastic. I've never seen a more beautiful hotel. And the breakfast? Dude. That's starting the day off right.

The training itself was awesome, as expected. We had a lot of great teachers, and it was nice to be surrounded by mostly strangers - forced me to train with people I don't know. My brain was fried the first night, trying to wrap my head around some stuff one of the teachers was showing from Japan. Wrapped up with dinner and drinks with a bunch of folks. We literally took over the four corners of the restaurant, haha.

Day 2 started off with some yoga with a couple friends, then a full day of training. I had the privilege of training with someone ranked much higher than myself at one point. That was mind-blowing. I spent the entire time just trying to keep up with the little things he was looking at, and trying not to look as incompetent as I felt. It was one of the highlights of the whole trip; I learned a great deal training with that guy.

I and the girl I was rooming with did an easy CrossFit workout (just cardio) once all the training was done, then got ready for the Saturday dinner. We got there late, but it was so much fun. Everyone got 2 free drinks, there were finger foods available, and the group had an entire room (with bar) to itself for a couple hours. It was awesome just chatting with folks and hanging out.

The party really got going for me, though, when the band came in and started playing. A couple people started dancing on the floor, and it wasn't long before I was down there with them. Whenever I would go to a school dance with my friends, high school or college, I always had a good time. I don't think any of us cared that we couldn't dance well - I sure didn't. It was the same thing on that dance floor. If I look like a goofball while I'm having fun, and it makes people smile, then it's mission accomplished. And it is a lot of fun for me. :) (I don't do ballroom, though. Doesn't keep folks from trying, but... I don't do ballroom.)

Sunday, training wrapped up with the final 3 instructors, and then it was back up to the hotel room to pack up and head south. Had some great conversation with the guy I was riding with, and had time for a few more stops along the way. The bus ride back to Huntsville, once I made it to the Nashville station, was one of the best bus rides I've had so far. Greyhound has these new buses that have wifi on-board, electrical outlets by the seats, and more leg room. Granted, the wifi's not that fast, but I didn't expect too much from it. I was happy just to be on Facebook, with something to do to kill the time!

After that, it's just been the usual: home, work, and training. The week doesn't promise anything else exciting, so Monday's post should be an interesting challenge. We shall see.

Until next time!